New Orleans, Louisiana: The clean cut, trim children's entertainer, Mr Bob (the) Builder AKA Pork Pie Jenkins has shocked the World after photographs taken last weekend have emerged exposing the one-time poster boy as an overweight, scruffy, redneck blob. It has been reported that after experiencing initial fame and success with such hits as 'Can you fix it', Jenko disappeared into obscurity allegedly after a particularly bad performance at a cricket club in Llanelli several years ago. Audience members on that night are said to have been physically and mentally affected by what some have said was the "worst gig in Wales ever".
A source close to Porky Jenkies informed a Sunday tabloid in May that after many months of "binge eating, hardly any physical movement at all and talk of taking up darts professionally", Jellkins, now 57, was to clean up his act and join Slimmer's World. Things allegedly were looking up when Pork Pie, on a diet consisting of "eating as much dust and water biscuits as he liked", was named 'Slimmest of the Fatties' 9 weeks in a row.
Fans, friends and family will be saddened to now know how the rumours of the star getting back on track was in fact just that and clearly just a PR strategy. Dr. Andreas Edvards of The National Centre for Clinical Excellence has commented on the newly found photo (below). He says "It is very clear to me that the specimen we see here has clearly been living on a diet of saturated fat and peanuts".
One patron to the less than clean bar in downtown New Orleans exclaimed "My buddy told me it was Bob the Builder but I just didn't believe it! It looked like that guy had eaten Bob and dressed up like a Village people tribute act and his voice and guitar skills were dogshite".
So what now for the one time mega star? The question on everyone's lips is 'Can he fix it?'...
Finally, New Orleans Police Department have also confirmed a elderly gentleman with a Kenfig Hill accent was arrested at 4am this morning trying to break in McDonalds on East Side Drive for breakfast. Coincidence? No.
(Photos attached: Bob in his former glory and last nights photo)
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