The Daily Pendinian – 29.10.09

Why can’t I go to PAM FEST with all the other Big Boys?

No show for Welsh Capitals Uber couple - `HENLOWRI` at Pendine Acoustic Music Festival this weekend

Pendine oligarch and music impresario Andy `the fracture` Edwards, 49 yesterday announced to friends and fellow musicians via his MSN that virtuoso rock mandolinist Henry `The Kitten` Jones will not now be appearing at this weekend’s acoustic musical extravaganza at the resorts premier location, The Crow’s Nest, Morfa Bay (www.morfabay.com).

Jones / Idol

`The Fracture`, 50 said that Jones, 33 had said to him earlier in the week that he was `itching to get his instrument out and caress it during the event`, particularly if he’d be allowed to do it between Big fat gay uncle Lyndon 46, and Ginger Gareth from Narberth 44.

Uncle Lyndon (left) and his legal team at a recent hearing into a charge of inappropriate / lewd behaviour in public place

Idol Jones, 36 had said his long term partner and business handler Ms Lowri Lloyd-Hughes had initially been `fairly warm to the idea of PAM FEST` but had advised him late in the week that `people from out of town were visiting with them this weekend`. Some delicate, high level negotiations had taken place in an attempt to rescue the situation but the fracture, 51 had said that `in the end the stronger man had won`.

`The Fracture`, 53 went on to say on the web that he knew little more than this other than to add that unnamed `sources` close to the leading couple had said that Billy Idol Jones 38, had been dreaming for weeks of overlaying some intricate rock mandolin over some of Lyndon, 48 and Gareth’s, 47 art.

The Fracture / Hermun Edwards

He had also hoped to slot in with Ian `Frog` Jones, 56 and his new folk super group `Yasgur’s Farm` and had been developing some Phrygian, mixolydian fusion jazz scales that he thought would fit in with Ian’s unusual musical style.

The Yasgur’s front man Frog, 58 of no fixed abode, London is known to enjoy using some unusual musical keys and sometimes employs several in a single piece.

Ian `Frog` Jones – Avant Garde tendencies

Devastated Idol Jones, 39 had it is reported, even booked appointments at local salons to `Billy` up his look ahead of the festival and had also been to view some new leather outfits at a specialist men’s shop in the city for his headline act. All this is now to be shelved and a weekend of home duties and shopping awaits the master Mandolin stroker.

Jones yesterday outside his company’s offices