24th July 2009 - Opening night of the new facility at Morfa Bay, Pendine last night. 500 bottles of Corona, 100 bottles of Sol, wine, wine wine and 3 litres of Tequila made for a fun music and food filled night which ended with Mr R Lovell vomiting all over himself and some of the new furnishings during the `Who can take the Heat!` extreme chilli eating contest.
The evening started with guest of honour the Duchess of Glendaloch, Mrs Estelle Kelly arriving in a open top car escorted by her loyal man servant, Commodore Merv Cooper. After a quick inspection of the gringo honour guard. The Duchess cut the ceremonial ribbon and the evening got underway.
Around 80 guests had turned out to celebrate with the staff of Morfa Bay and after introductions the drinking began in earnest.
De`mandy, Mandy and Tess Wood served up chicken fajita wraps and salad for all and The Two Fat Cyclists got the music going with a couple of acoustic numbers. Soon joined by Big Uncle
De`mandy, Mandy and Tess Wood served up chicken fajita wraps and salad for all and The Two Fat Cyclists got the music going with a couple of acoustic numbers. Soon joined by Big Uncle ` I don't want to steal the limelight` Lyndon and Keef (Page 18) Rudd on lead. This saw the tempo and volume in
crease and Lyndon `I hide my light under a bushell` Williams breaking into Rockin in the free world and some Quo.
crease and Lyndon `I hide my light under a bushell` Williams breaking into Rockin in the free world and some Quo. 
Throughout the evening the band were joined on guest slots by Comodore Merv Cooper (La Cucaracha) and Jason Rees (La Bamba- rapped at approx 1000 beats per min) and Ceri Daniel (Valarie)
While all this was going on, the new CCTV surveillance cameras linked to the large plasma screen behind the band picked up scantily clad people running about the outdoor activities. This culminated with a semi naked female well known to staff climbing the tower in Bra and knickers.
The penultimate event of the evening was the Marching song with Merv`El Stump` Cooper drumming and singing.
The evening ended with an extreme chilli eating contest. measured in scoville heat units (SHU) we started with mild green and red chillis (2500 SHU), working through birds eye (100,000 SHU), red chilli bombs (120,000 SHU), the fearsome scotch bonnet (300,000 SHU) and finishing on the devili
sly hot Dorset Naga (at an astounding 923,000 SHU!!!).Rules were; no drinking (or being sick Mr R Lovell DNF), all chillis must be chewed, last man or woman standing wins. A few early surprise casualities included Mr. Rhys Page who was very shortly joined by Gethin`The man mountain`Jones. Last standing and joint winners were El Stump and Jason `La Bamba` Rees.
Around £150 was raised for Diabetes UK from drink sales and a great night was had by all.
Happy Moustaches
Phil `Xavier Pork Pancho` Pie
www.thetwofatcyclists.co.uk
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