Mexico meets Morfa Bay - Music, Lager, Tequila, Lemons & Limes

24th July 2009 - Opening night of the new facility at Morfa Bay, Pendine last night. 500 bottles of Corona, 100 bottles of Sol, wine, wine wine and 3 litres of Tequila made for a fun music and food filled night which ended with Mr R Lovell vomiting all over himself and some of the new furnishings during the `Who can take the Heat!` extreme chilli eating contest.

The evening started with guest of honour the Duchess of Glendaloch, Mrs Estelle Kelly arriving in a open top car escorted by her loyal man servant, Commodore Merv Cooper. After a quick inspection of the gringo honour guard. The Duchess cut the ceremonial ribbon and the evening got underway.

Around 80 guests had turned out to celebrate with the staff of Morfa Bay and after introductions the drinking began in earnest.
De`mandy, Mandy and Tess Wood served up chicken fajita wraps and salad for all and The Two Fat Cyclists got the music going with a couple of acoustic numbers. Soon joined by Big Uncle

` I don't want to steal the limelight` Lyndon and Keef (Page 18) Rudd on lead. This saw the tempo and volume increase and Lyndon `I hide my light under a bushell` Williams breaking into Rockin in the free world and some Quo.

Throughout the evening the band were joined on guest slots by Comodore Merv Cooper (La Cucaracha) and Jason Rees (La Bamba- rapped at approx 1000 beats per min) and Ceri Daniel (Valarie)

While all this was going on, the new CCTV surveillance cameras linked to the large plasma screen behind the band picked up scantily clad people running about the outdoor activities. This culminated with a semi naked female well known to staff climbing the tower in Bra and knickers.

The penultimate event of the evening was the Marching song with Merv`El Stump` Cooper drumming and singing.

The evening ended with an extreme chilli eating contest. measured in scoville heat units (SHU) we started with mild green and red chillis (2500 SHU), working through birds eye (100,000 SHU), red chilli bombs (120,000 SHU), the fearsome scotch bonnet (300,000 SHU) and finishing on the devilisly hot Dorset Naga (at an astounding 923,000 SHU!!!).

Rules were; no drinking (or being sick Mr R Lovell DNF), all chillis must be chewed, last man or woman standing wins. A few early surprise casualities included Mr. Rhys Page who was very shortly joined by Gethin`The man mountain`Jones. Last standing and joint winners were El Stump and Jason `La Bamba` Rees.

Around £150 was raised for Diabetes UK from drink sales and a great night was had by all.

Happy Moustaches

Phil `Xavier Pork Pancho` Pie

www.thetwofatcyclists.co.uk

Three Gig Weekend

Friday, 24th Mexican Party - Morfa Bay Adventure 7 p.m. - TWO FAT CYCLISTS PJ and the Bear are joined by many bandits for a fun party. Mervyn 'Stumpy' Cooper will perform on lead vocals on La Cucaracha and will also play the spoons. He even might do a 'Haka' and might even sing and play the well known drum solo: 'March You B##st##ds'

A split in the cyclists mean the team are in two places at once!

Saturday, 25th Laugharne Carnival - New Three Mariners 5.30 p.m. - 8.30 p.m. - LIFE'S TOO SHORT - Keith and Andy duo singalong in the beer garden!

Saturday, 25th - Wedding in Porthcawl - PJ and his Uncle Lyndon

All gigs raising money for Diabetes UK

www.thetwofatcyclists.co.uk

Two Gig Weekend

The TFC's hit The Three Mariners on Friday night to a packed out pub full of Friday afternoon drinkers. Joined by Ceri the Hen and her mates meant that the numbers swelled in the pub to overflowing as the hits poured out from Phil's enormous repetoire of top singalongs. The first set nerves soon calmed down as PJ launched in to some new songs that brought tears to the eyes of some locals. Requests for some Pete Seeger were eagerly taken on and 'Dan Tucker' and 'Pay Me My Money' entertained the crowd. I was taken aside at a break by Dai Tux and told that Dan Tucker was his fathers' nickname when he was in the 'Chindits'. Another great night and £120 put in the charity bucket.

Saturday night - Llandowror Fete, venue for 'Life's Too Short', a 3 piece band: Keith (60)on guitar, Frank (67) on drums and one fat cyclist on bass. Tonight we are joined unexpectedly by an unknown guitarist on lead guitar. Never having met the guy before and not knowing what our set list is, I shout out key letters as the songs go on. What a fantastic guitar player! Keith riffs back and for with the guitarist and the crowd are given an outstanding fretboard display close to genius considering the lack of practice. The people of Llandowror are a lovely bunch: their fete is well attended with stalls and sports for the youngsters, a bar and refreshments for everyone and a warm welcome to anyone and everyone. Another £50 hits the bottom of the bucket!

Bookings taken for either band. Please e mail teddypenllew@googlemail.com

www.thetwofatcyclists.co.uk

Shutt VR.

The guys are Shutt VR have designed a new cycle jersey for 'The Two Fat Cyclists'. The design will incorporate the Diabetes bird on the arms coupled with the Diabetes UK colours.

Shutt VR. Traditional cycling jerseys in merino sport wool hand made in the UK

www.thetwofatcyclists.co.uk

Pendine Music Fringe Festival

We kicked off as close to midday as possible. Paul and Helen at The Spring Well graciously allowed us to busk all afternoon. The Two Fat Cyclists click into the first half hour set, only to be invited to join the main stage as a few bands hadn't turned up and they were deprived of any live music.

Five songs on the main stage and an uncourteous call for us to stop collecting cash for the charity! Nice!!

Neil Young's 'Rocking in The Free World', Spinal Tap's 'All the Way Home' Stereophonics, 'Goldfish Bowl, Honky Tonk Woman, Folsom Prison Blues and a special rendition of 'Strongbow' to the tune of James Morrison's 'Beautiful'.

Back to the Fringe Fest and a non stop singalong for the next four hours. Occasionally joined by a very drunk Eldon 'I can sing live', who just wanted to sing any Stereophonic song, Eric Clapton's, 'Wonderful Tonight' or 'Purple Rain' a couple of times.

'Who needs Indie bands when you've got an Indoor band', quips Eldon.

What a great afternoon - thank you everyone for singing along, clapping and putting your hands in your pockets and raising £158 for Diabetes UK.

Next gig - The Three Mariners, Laugharne - Friday, July 17th - 8 till late.

www.thetwofatcyclists.co.uk