Yesterday afternoon was
Gala Day at Llanmiloe social club complete with Live music, BBQ, face-painting and bring and buy sale.
Due to the mildly inclement weather it was amongst the aforementioned bring and buyers that we found ourselves. Setting up in the main hall instead of the packed bar as we were told that "the crowd wanted to watch the football after the rugby international has finished".
Upon arrival clad in our tradmark dungarees and old timey check shirts we were what can only be described as `stared` out by a number of locals and while setting up I was asked by one youngster, "what have you come as?" to which I answered "Grandpa f**king Walton".
The Big Man had pre-warned me that his three previous dates here had all fallen flat and that there was little atmosphere to be expected. He also confessed to having once cleared the room by the 3rd song.
I should have heeded his wise words and perhaps taken him up on an earlier offer to `pull out due to health reasons` but I was feeling good and said I want to do it and genuinley thought that Llanmiloe could do with a blast of old timey. How wrong can one be.....
We started with a couple of up tempo numbers and it was clear from the outset that it just wasn't going to happen today. Kids all over the place driving their `new` bring and buy remote control cars at our sandal clad feet and one stall had a huge colletion of inflatable instruments and animals which meant that we had within minutes of starting a 10 piece inflatable backing band consisting of guitars, saxaphones and SEAGULLS behind us for the entire set but at least it made the parents of those involved at least look our way if not clap.
After 4 or 5 numbers Ian Frog, Iannis and their children arrived and we took a short break but not before I played an imprtomtu round of that favorite radio 4 show `one song to the tune of another` (I'm sorry I haven't a clue) when I started singing the words of Deep Elem Blues to the tune of something completly different (Get Along Home Cindy). What Joy... The situation was recovered not that anyone other than Andy or I really noticed...
Frog and Iannis then took to their feet and let rip with a couple of Irish numbers including `tell me ma` and `whiskey in the jar`. At one point I could see one woman sitting in the hall shaking her head as if to say `no, enough is enough. What are you lot doing here?` it did wonders for the confidence.
Iannis and Ian's set ended with the Boyzone version of that classic `when you say nothing at all` to which the assembled crowd didn`t go nuts at all. I guess that they must have been in a state of mild shock at seeing four fat blokes two wearing dungarees and two looking like mildly obese biblical characters (Iannis - Fat Jesus and Ian - rotund John the Baptist) singing late 90's boyband pop.
By this time we'd really gone to work on the crowd and the numbers were dwindling fast with tables being cleared and being packed away at a rate of knots.
During our second interval Andy looked at the clock, `6pm we've got 30mins left to clear the place he` muttered.
The `other` song book came out in a deveation from gigs of late and we decided on a few Stereophonics numbers and some more rockier tunes but Llanmiloe was having none of it. Not a single ripple of a clap was heard all night. Again the big man looks at me `13mins left`.
Stuck in the Middle followed by a drawn out Fulsom Prison blues and the big hand has reached the six and were opening the back door and unplugging gear before taking our instruments off.
We laugh at the thought of what has just happened most of the way home and can't believe the complete lack of atmosphere in the place. We actually played pretty well. Andy says that we could do with another gig just to wash the thought of what has just happened from us. We need a cleansing gig. I decide that Llanmiloe Gala stole our Mojo and that a restoritive chinese take away and a couple of glasses of wine is in order and off home I go still in a state of disbelief of what has gone before.
Still £100 in the charity bag...
Pictured left is a bearded Cretan from Penyfan, Llanelli with the legendary Glyn Davies belting out Green Green Grass as only Glyn can do!
Porkpie
It is hoped that THE TWO FAT CYCLISTS will rise from the dead of Llanmiloe Social like a phoenix from the ashes of dissolution. 
Yesterday afternoon was Gala Day at Llanmiloe social club complete with Live music, BBQ, face-painting and bring and buy sale.
